temptress
The color on these walls
Fades away and blisters,
Bursts
And falls to the cold concrete floor.
Im awake amongst ashes
And chips of paint
I once borrowed to survive on.
In looking for the door
Im given a window:
And like a world I never knew
Im looking into you…
What is this feeling now?
The warmth is coming in,
But if I dared touch your skin
Would you go shift just like the wind?
*
Im wearing the shapes
Of shame and solitude
Wrinkled and tearing at the edges,
Im a dweller in need of
Revision and atonement.
Selfish thoughts they crumble too though…
See,
Theres a music in your eyes
The kind I thought Id never find
Who could’ve ever pictured me in this
Transcendent instance?
And as you lean closer still
I peek out, and this is real.
Steal.
a blank slate
impossible:
blackened by history
im trudging with un-reliable
methods of life living
breathing this air is giving me
cancerous visions, "marry me!"
cry out the venomous enemies
entrenched in the environment.
a silent
alarmist
testing the science of silence.
Local color 1
sunshine
is tearing on my nerves again
introduced to the night
got used to the night
but ill fight to see some right again
bright lines
deviding the colors
on the cold concrete guerrilla feet try recover
with an ear to the street
an eye to the sky
fully trained dope nose
seek out the scent of a lie
a trail that for miles
goes way back into time
like a family tree
its a family scheme
drain the wells till their dry
less for you more for I
while the girl down the block
is selling ass for some rock
the one with no words
without property
convinced herself the work is
worth it
if its cooked properly
devoted to vice
her faded yellowing eyes
could not have possibly
discerned a structure
built just for her
its the new age caste-systema
and these lines
just
wont
blur.
Local Color 2
yesterday
at two thirty
guns blazed
and erased any faith
in cooperation
between two colored races
everything but hate
forgotten,
"revenge" on the lips of everyone
who even slightly
knew the fallen
three-year-old-girl
who wasnt the target but
became the mark
of the ignorance
that lies in the underbelly
of society.
at two thirty today
a man was slain
guilty of wearing a murderers skin...
it isnt my way, but ill take the blame
hurt mine and ill drill a fuckin tunnel through your brain.
Local color 3
today my uncle Rascal
lost his second, last leg.
they put him in a center
for the voices in his head.
all my cousins
cried when they heard
what the doctor said
but all that i remember
are the needles by his bed.
they said he was a veteran, they called
him a soldier
whatever war he served in
I am sure is far from over
i overheard the homie with
the teardrop stare...
he speaks like from a dream
as subtle as the screams of the children
seldom seen.
the ones that in the depths
of disillusionments dark
spend their time developing
a bulletproof bark.
all they do is lose limbs
all they do is lose limbs
they have no time to grow roots
Notimes ours of this I am sure.
Dazed deed
if i were to borrow an emotion...
begging to better understand
the current state of things
what feeling would you lend
would you believe id
comprehend?
try me.
were all daisies arnt we ?
daisies all season long?
or is there shrapnel in your brain
is war what your fleeting thoughts contain?
i can already hear
the gunshots from a history lesson
not yet learned
the bomb blasts from a misery session
not yet earned.
the stripes on our backs
the fallen stars in our eyes
what emotion would you lend
that could not be learned to bend?
Slow ride
got a bullet now
gotta vest, gotta phone,
gotta find a way to not lose control
im the puppet you smile at in shame.
about two minutes from the coast
i got the sense
i smell the shit about to go down
but baby im not stone no more
no
i got cuts inside my chest
a heart thats good as gone....
A word you could use
is there a word you could use
in place of what you call love?
im too deep from you now
you just float up above, above...
is there a word you could use
in place of what you call understanding
your face changes way too fast
while you float up above, above
hey now girl try, try
youre my life support system
dont you float up above, hold on
there you go float above
the truths in your voice, dont pretend
dont lie, you pretend you dont lie...
there you go up above
hey girl try, try
just be my friend
 Spill It (dear mr. "president")
a cascade of flowering
teenage rodents
approach a nuclear horizon.
half clue-less, smile, half medicated
numb
drip, drop, flow, drop
and rot...
hey! shove them in the holes in the walls
of the plan to reconstruct this
latest crumbling dream youve created scene by scene
and scream by scream.
if pollution were your scheme youd fucking poison stream by stream
and taunt the thirst of the survivors with a sip from your latrine, while
you just drink and drink and drink and suck off oil wells till dry
the children of the nations youve destroyed are learning how to hate and
how to blow a dirty U.S fascist into history.
and if its damage control that youll now admit to
let the starving millions praise you
for a half truth weve predicted.
hide your profits in media-mischief
and corporate make-believe
while death sky rockets, and the price of
life begins to bleed, bleed,bleed away.
now veteran rodents look for holes in walls
shell-shocked heroes here at home(less)
but theres none left.
"home" was justa rumor that you lent
and chose to repossess.
just as soon as rodents dressed in black
decided it was time to play.
not as mice but as men its high time
to open our eyes and face the end of conformity
and testify to the dawn of an awakened soul sincerity.
click,click
carbomb,NO!!
while we were listening
the real crime showed...
that look in your eyes
was a childs pose..
instinct taught us to run
but we just ,FROZE!
get up
lets go, NO!
get up
lets go, No!
get up, get up
no! NO!
and the sound grows!!!
casting a shadow through
all that we thought weve known,
that thought in your mind
of a dying rose...
was the same image in mine :
a burning corpse!!!
at the same time...
at the same time...
click,click
carbomb,NO!!
while we all hesitate
the real crime showed...
that look in your eyes
was a childs pose..
instinct taught us to run
but we just ,FROZE!
get up
lets go, NO!
get up
lets go, No!
get up, get up
no! NO!
It still burns
in a dream
of shadows,
memories of houses
covered in soot arose again.
there amongst
the terra cotta
statuary we
schemed again.
those words we said.....
***
time had froze
like in your womb
was the reason to
change what once was truth.
by the church
on those steps
you swore in the heat
under the sun
as we waited.....
to never release me...
i am
a shriveled state
of what once held you
in its arms.
hate me,
pray for my death, but
never leave me from your mind
or love me still.
burnt the black for miles...i
drank the brew till blind..i
hung a million lines..im
draggin lies behind, please
release me....
i am
a shriveled state
of what once held you
in its arms.
hate me,
pray for my death, but
never leave me from your mind
or love me still.
or love me still...
Soula soul
soula soul
got the mind and heart
got the end open wide from the start
temper temper good friend
temper, tempered old friend,
eye and i
and a hand or two too
split the bulk of the weight its true
true
Temper, temper good friend
temper, tempered old friend
miles my oh my
miles so high, high
the summit is waiting in time
climb!!!
Temper, temper old friend
temper, tempered old friend
got your instincts and habits
and stickin has gotten you "It"
where has "It" gotten you yet?
diggin deep in the light with rhyme
overshadowed the wasted time
gotta line or two from the devine
made an inch or two last me a mile
temper temper good friend
temper, tempered old friend
youre aiming for the sky
gun shy
aint got the nerve to try
wonder why, wonder why..
words only go so far
repeating repeating
antiquated frail lie
gotta fly gotta fly
erase verbal design
un-bind....
Shadows of a state
i circle sober round your streets
shadows of a state
i embarked upon
years ago still follow.
they are the faces of the souls
drenched in dirt and shit
the tunes hung out to dry
of boys who cry in skits
of memories brought back
again.
they are the working girls
the working class, the sun-tanned lotioned
preppy cats...
i bump that "hip-hop" for the bass
i lean back and i pray
a Tupac joint will play
take todayness from my brain
for just an instant.
From such a distance
skin been wearing thin
still waiting to begin
the film of my life: buy the rights.
i got the lights on hold
the fight scenes gold
the dialogues wrote:
and i got you....
fair, this days been shiny im
a candy coated lie.
tore the wrapper
with your razor savage teeth
and litterd in the sky.
so what could diamonds teach us
in the end
from such a distance?
born in lost angel town
with a sewn on frown
and a hide of brown...
godbless this ground ive found
after years home bound
its an eerie sound
"harlot by the pound
booze sold by the ounce
plants of all kinds
smoke the proof"
and i got you....
where this days been winding im
reluctant to foresee,
tongued up a storm with strength
are my theories spent?
are they in your head?
and what could words do
that aching hearts wont see
from such a distance....
Performance of the weak
im building gaps in
my memory to
justify the absence of
regret or remorse.
im running out of excuses
my deviations been so fruitless.
It fades away like a final scene
no credits to roll out no applause
no applause no critique none in awe
of the technique. a final note shuffles off
through empty seats.
shes waiting for me.
still i lack any
conscious desire to change...
im the stained canvas
interpretation
of who she claims i am
in my own head.
It fades away like a final scene
no credits to roll out no applause
no applause no critique none in awe
of the technique. a final note shuffles off
through empty seats.
shes waiting for me.
[In a poisoned land]
in a poisoned land
aint a man who could understand
no word of truth.
a woman took my hand
took my hand, took my hand.
by the sea side, on the sand.
we listened to the sunset
a heartbeat of drum and dance.
colors overhead evaporate
my girl, i and i dance the poison away
back alley lover
stick the pistol in his face
pull the trigger take the money
and run.
he gave you what you wanted
what you needed, but his
time is done.
kept you well
kept you paid
but he crossed the line
oh hell.
back alley lover
pull the trigger take the money
and run.
belong
i was tweaking by myself one night
staring out feeling doomed
NoHo looked like prison
from that dirty saintly room.
that dont mean ill hang around
had to get my guts outta town.
i was drinkin on the roof last night
my head wrapped in her words
lips just like a goddess, girl you know im being true
this here right nows my heart i cant pretend
its bleeding on my sleeve again.
its me and time
living, dying for some new piece of mind
so in god i trust and find
that im right where
just right where i belong.
Slow voice.
slow voice inside
says im trying to destroy this:
lightly pounding headache
of a conscience…
See me drinking, cornered
Your eyes paint a picture
Im on the floor slurring
Out our future…
*
Bouncing off the walls
Im rubber and im dizzy
Loud voice getting busy
Screaming “I don’t even know you”
“No you don’t know” no I don’t
I faked it and you bought it. fuck it.
*
I came with the breeze
I taught you real sleaze
You drank up with me
You smoked out with me
Went out on a limb
No im not like him
Or anybody
For this im sorry
But no not really
Im sorry, no not really.
*
slow voice inside
says im trying to destroy this:
lightly pounding headache
of a conscience…
Give me your hand
Girl come help me get back up
Im tired lets
Just go to bed.
Reactions
Stunned into submission
enTrenched and ashamed, delirious.
Backed into a corner
The animal cowers, he’s enslaved.
Punish him with cold shouldered
Understated bewilderment.
Lock him up temptress bind him
Torture him with that sly smile.
It all plays out the same.
*
SIX
Imagery.
Flowing in the darkness
Like steam rising from a
Past I lived a long long time ago.
Eyes wide open
Seeing past the light play
Of mutating shapes , seeping
Through my bedroom door.
From the living room, the t.v and familiar voices
Of my children and their mother fade away.
…how old was I then…
…six.. Seven..
Why is my mother screaming
Why wont my sister stop crying
Where is my father…. How did that night end?
How could I have known back then…….
My woman walks in, turns the light on
And jumps into bed with me. Saves me.
Again.
*
THE CLOT THICKENS
tearing through some sacred text
im screaming out the fire i sent.
all smoky mirrors dont reflect
just what ive been told to expect.
but not surprising
tons of times
ive been mislead by these
dark eyes.
darker now,
my bloodshot mind stares
back over my shoulder twice
big brother is watching
i can hear the breath of injustice
upon my neck like vampire fangs
ill spend my soul on concrete dreams
of pavement where it is free to think.
*
All I Can Say
With caution delivering
A new message.
Hurts as much as keeping it
To the self.
But would it even matter
If I do or do not follow through
With what you thought
I had promised you?
Whos to say, anyway?
Caught within the walls
Your thoughtless words
Have well constructed,
Left with nothing more
But “trust” to try and hold on to…
What would you expect me to do
What would you expect you wouldn’t do?
*
Marley
A warrior isn’t always a man of peace
But
A man of peace is always a warrior.
father
At my kitchen table
He sits and sifts
Through the yellow pages.
Looking for something he
Wont afford.
Sipping his coffee,
He is in no perceivable hurry
To get to where he has to go.
He sits, sifts and sips
Knowing that there are gardens
For him to tend to.
Remembering how there was once
Fields he had to tend to
When he could still be lead by his father.
Perhaps someday he will again
Work the land with his father.
Squander
Cold mime I
Babel at the mouth
A stranded disillusionist
Punch drunk: I know im now
Without hope.
What version of me did you
Wish to see
When you poisoned the well
With your brave deceit?
Theres a frown on the counter
Before me:
“sold as is”
Reads the price tag in bright green.
But there just aint enough ache ive
Saved yet
Ill squander the hurt
In these words.
*The Sand Dollar*
My dreams are painted
In broken bottle glass:
A hazard of youth.
A transplanted infinity
Taints the spectrum of my reality.
I am recreationally used cognition.
“eyes” once the clock has fallen off the wall
“blind” while I breathe
Stink vivid imagination.
don’t cry mother, mother laugh!! Its
A celebration!!!
disinformative
Defragment the ego
Staring through pale blue lies
Words are never what they seem
When falling from a mirrored sky.
Misinformed and deloused:
Intellect failed to survive….
Obstacle in liquid form
Consequential suicide.
This flesh lives in the blink of an eye.
Like a morse code of events
All in bits we piece together,
Tie along moments weve thought to be clever.
We devise convenient webs
Matters of fact in our heads.
Tattered shreds of a memory
Precise as what we choose call reverie
Giving us our daily bread.
Vieja.
Dirt roads in my head…
Come give me peace.
Como tu
Solo tu puedes.
years
Its been years now dear how
Do your eyes still sparkle.
5-24-08
Deceive or deceived?
What comes next
Under these clouds …
We rain away whats real.
6-13-08 (IN Pints)
In a warehouse
A shallow grave is dug.
A ton of needles, infection
A bed awaits. Gray walls of metal
There is no color, cold
It is very cold.
Concrete floors.
And hands gloved in leather . Carry me
How long have I traveled
How far gones my home.
In a hole one is one is one is one.
Only a matter of time now.
Soon Forget
Rain
Its always in my eyes
Blurred I
Fight to compromise.
I stand
To lose much more today…
Healing weighs down
As if drowning were my fate.
Could you toss me a line-saving me just in time
Could you sing out of time-would it kill you?
*
When you say things you wish you’ve not said
Words you spit out, words you’ll soon regret
Do you count on me not be hurt by it?
Are you so certain I will soon forget?
*
And I hang
By the fragile threads of faith…
Breathe tomorrow
By concealing my tongue today.
You say trust me
Like “trust” me well be fine
Better come clean-don’t want to hear it from Time.
If I sowed on the face you’ve been wanting to see
Would you tear at the seems and expose me?
*
When you say things you wish you’ve not said
Words you spit out, words you’ll soon forget
Do you count on me not be hurt by it
Are you so certain I will soon forgive?
*
11-6-09
I unwind
A nervous length in miles.
Whos styled
This frustrated and fragmented smile?
Of stigma
Tar-faced shadows
Encircle me in dreams
Bruised-atleast my sub-conscious
Knows
What it wants.
They point their fingers in accusation
And spit venomous verbals to the melodies
Of resentment and false atonement
…Dancing are the fallen saints on the sands of perdition
Casting their stones for I am their scarlet letterman.
The dead have come
To keep their promise haunting my every
Breath.
It would be easier to outrun these demons
If only it wasn’t my blood in which they dwell.
Their hostile vengeance
Burns holes of remorse
Into my soul
And brands my heart
With the fear of a future
That I can never let go.
In Your World
I got a cancer in my throat
And my mouth
Has betrayed the fright
That I have tried for so long
To so quietly hide.
A bitter taste
Rises from my chest
Reminding me , there
Aint been a time where
I was lacking in rhythm or rhyme.
So I slide through the memory fields
Confronting the shields
Not wanting to feel has revealed
Find ive concealed a desire to finally heal.
And its all just frail fabrication
A thin veil of stained glass -
Keeping me from tapping into
The flow of whats real.
*
Staring through a mirror into you
A vision of a person
I think I once knew…
Now a cold demeanor,
Eyes a dead stare- a silent, violent,
Purulent Howl of an affair.
A whisper of a being- a corpse
Stuck in a death-giving trance,
Dealing a breath-stealing glance.
Frightened and weak.
What will shatter these perceptions
Thatve kept me in this battle over
Who I should be in your world?
Wires
Do you still hang on every word?
Having been said so long ago do you
Still recall the first the second the third…
Time?
Where do we fit in ?
How are we in this dimension.
Such absurdities as minutes, seconds, hours to say
From then to now.
From there to here.
From them to us.
Blistered from such violence
Having been thrown through such unrelenting space!
Confine us!
Come find us- tattered, soiled- sleepless
Voiceless-screaming at the wind in our own sails!
Along. Along we travel and will you remember?
When now was then
When here was there
When we were them
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