Selfish

 im in Self-imposed   lockdown, prescribed by the state,

ordered to remain
at home;
"Safe",
away From everyone.
Safer at home,

but alone,
Who could save me from
mySelf?
Atleast there are no more every-mornings
crawling in
from every-nights out on the town.
no more red-eye warnings from my
body barely making it through the day,
no more running in place
to and from being afraid
of the privelage i had acquired of being
able to be mySelf,
no more overdrawn complaints
from the bank
bout how my rarely-earned money gets spent,
Because,
there aint.

There just aint 
no.
money.
to be spent.
and
I cant sleep,
or even remember,
whenever i ask mySelf,
"did i eat?"
its been since God knows when
that my body has felt this weak,
ive completely forgotten how to speak, then again,
who would listen anyway?
you are no longer here and i have only mySelf to blame.